Pink Sun…

The Sunday after the memorial (August 16th)I decided that I would take the next day to myself. Jamie was due to go back to work, and this would be the first real day I would have alone in the house, and I needed to write. Write about what I didn’t know – I just knew I needed to spend some time writing.

After sending Jamie off to work on Monday, I began to question if taking the day off to write was the right thing to do. Perhaps I just needed to bite the bullet and head back into the office. As I sat on the covered deck, alone and in silence the sun began to rise. Something inside of my head said “get the camera, this is going to be good” The voice was not wrong.

pinksun26b

I love the early mornings, and one of the reasons is watching the sun rise as the day comes to life. But never had I seen anything like this sunrise! I sat in amazement as the sun turned from a flaming red to pink. I knew that yes – today needed to be mine. I needed to take the day to write. The pink sun was my confirmation. How I knew that I don’t know, I just knew.

pinksun26a

I wrote, and wrote, but not a single line on paper nor on computer. I wrote in my head. I walked through each step, relived each moment, and recorded everything in the pages of my heart. What I wrote, you have read over the last little while. That Monday I put it all together — and then posted later in the days that followed.

I did question if I would put everything on my blog or not. I knew what was there was pure uncensored emotion, grief and heartbreak. I knew that some that read the words would back away in fear and others would relive their own moments — but in the end I decided it didn’t matter. I needed to put the words there. Perhaps one day they would help someone walking the same path…. But more than anything I was writing for myself.

So here we are blog readers, pretty much caught up with today, and from here we will move forward.

Advertisements
Published in: on September 13, 2009 at 7:25 am  Comments (8)  

The URI to TrackBack this entry is: https://truddle.wordpress.com/2009/09/13/pink-sun/trackback/

RSS feed for comments on this post.

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Beautiful photos, beautiful post.

  2. Some of us are wondering if we will handle things as well. Your posts may help us get through when the time comes. Thank you for that, and thank you for allowing us to comfort you in the small ways we can.

  3. Thanks Stevo and Shawn!!!

  4. Photos are beautiful!

  5. I’m glad you wrote it out and posted it here. Whether for yourself or your readers, present or future, it needed to be done and you did it. That’s what counts.

    You’re right, too. Someone will come across and get strength and understanding from your grief and emotion. And others of us will relive our own. And that’s good.

    Allow yourself to feel the grief when it comes. Even now when you are moving forward, you’ll find that it will hit you again and again. Let yourself feel it.

  6. The photos are beautiful.

    I’m one of those who couldn’t read your posts for a while. It was too close to what I was going through at the time, to what I am going through now.

    I understand the raw grief and emotion. I understood it then, too, but it was too much to take in while there was still some (unrealistic) smidgen of hope in my heart that my mother might come out of it and I wouldn’t have to deal with her death just yet. Hope seems to be the last thing to die, doesn’t it?

    *Hugs* to you Truddle. We discovered early on that you and I have a lot in common. I just wish it wasn’t this, for either us. But since it is, perhaps we’ll find a way to help each other through it all.

  7. I know Robin… I knew it as I wrote it that it would be hard for you and that saddened me. I wish we didn’t have to share this as you, we both know how hard this road is. Email me anytime Robin, to vent, to cry, laugh or just talk. We will make it through this!

  8. I WATCHED THE SAME PINK SUN-RISE AND MY LIFE HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED! PLEASE CONTACT ME


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: