Two Visitors…

roses

We were met at the hospital entrance by my brother who led us down a long hallway to mom’s room. Two visitors per patient the sign glared at the door’s entrance – My dad and I went in without hesitation.

Mom’s breathing was rough and somewhat raspy, but I remember feeling a sense of relief, she was still breathing, there was still hope. The nurse told us that she could not respond, but she could hear us. I knew we had to talk, I knew that mom would want to hear our voices – so I told her we were there, and brushed the hair from her face. Her breathing became calmer, more peaceful if you will, I like to think she knew we were there.

I don’t know where the hours that followed went. I don’t remember what I thought while sitting there next to my mother. Jamie, my dad, my brother and I switched out so that we all had our time staying true to the sign that said Two visitors…. Somewhere in there we walked in the court yard, got coffee. At around 3:00 my dad was showing signs of wanting to go. It was time. We left the hospital after letting mom know we would be back the next day … my soul screamed ‘don’t leave’ … but I had to stay strong I had to go with my dad – I had to stay positive. She had made it through the surgery, she was responding to the nurses when she came back to her room. She could come through this – after all look at all that she had made it through before now…

We arranged to meet my brother at a nearby restaurant for dinner and drove away. We had a good dinner and then we said our goodbyes to my brother and proceeded on our way back home.

Half way home Jamie’s cell phone rang – it was my brother. He was at the hospital and had just talked to the doctor, we needed to come back. After we had left the hospital they had taken mom for a scan – two hours max my brother told me.

I made the hand signal to Jamie to turn around as I told my dad what my brother had said. ½ an hour or so back to the hospital.

We dropped my dad at the door where my brother was waiting, I went with Jamie as he found parking for the jeep — I just needed a few minutes to take that deep breath – I knew what was coming. I needed to give my dad his time alone with mom.

Jamie and I made the walk down the hallway and I went directly into mom’s room. My brother followed me in, with Jamie not far behind. My dad – broken – left the room.

Jamie said mom goodbye … and then there was just my brother and I. I don’t think we spoke – I remember handing him the box of tissue but beyond that I don’t know what was said, or even how long we sat there.

I touched moms hand, again brushed the hair from her face – spoke a zillion silent words to her and watched as her breathing became more and more shallow… and then there were no more rises of her chest… my brother and I sat in silence.

One of the nurses came in – I think she is gone she said. She left to bring back other nurses – my brother and I sat. Then there were 3 – they listened – yes she is gone – I looked at the clock 5:36. We sat. My dad came in, Jamie came in … we all said our final goodbyes – there was nothing left to do but go home.

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Published in: on August 19, 2009 at 6:14 am  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You know my heart is with you…. (((((HUGS)))))

  2. I know Murmur.

  3. Lots of hugs and a few more for good measure. I’m so sorry for your loss, Truddle.

  4. Of course, she knew you were there, and I’m sure she found comfort in it. I wish there were words to ease your pain. Please know you are on my heart and in my prayers.

  5. As difficult as this is for you to write, it’s good that you’re doing this. It will help you to process what has happened. I know it all happened so quickly that you didn’t get a chance to realize that this could happen before she was gone. So good for you for doing this very courageous thing of documenting what happened.


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